: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
