Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
