Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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