is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He did a backflip because drugs
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
