The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize