Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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