I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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