does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
