how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
