so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
