Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I need to wash the frat house off of me
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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