I hate all girls vehemently.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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