It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
