When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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