Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
