hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
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You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
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I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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