Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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