also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize