You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
