Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
