i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
