I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
