i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
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That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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