Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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