i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
