morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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