all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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