He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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