I wish I could teleport
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize