Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
