we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
accomplished twins. life is a go
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I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
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I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
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