i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
