Dual....:-)
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
