Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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