My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
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keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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