My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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