i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize