..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i think i have two assholes
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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