have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
