I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
