i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
