I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You've changed since you got that strap on
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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