Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
