so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize