Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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