so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
