Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
