trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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