Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Randomize
