whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize