so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize