He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
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So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
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at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
This is the high leading the old right now
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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