I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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