Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(248): View more from Michigan

Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room

(248): View more from Michigan

Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(248): Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room (248): Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65 http://tfl.nu/zat2

Replies (2) Good night (1118) Bad night (786)
Favorite
(206): View more from Washington

remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?

(206): View more from Washington

neither do i

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(206): remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot? (206): neither do i http://tfl.nu/7dbm

Replies (3) Good night (652) Bad night (741)
Favorite
(214): View more from Texas

she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(214): she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her? http://tfl.nu/okee

Replies (27) Good night (750) Bad night (3233)
Favorite
(619): View more from California

well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(619): well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen http://tfl.nu/rvwe

Replies (42) Good night (1050) Bad night (5330)
Favorite
(661): View more from California

i wish semen tasted like chocolate

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(661): i wish semen tasted like chocolate http://tfl.nu/nknz

Replies (61) Good night (8093) Bad night (1127)
Favorite
(217): View more from Illinois

I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(217): I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong. http://tfl.nu/7bl9

Replies (7) Good night (1080) Bad night (2610)
Favorite
(631): View more from New York

figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(631): figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard. http://tfl.nu/oj4g

Replies (5) Good night (2138) Bad night (1043)
Favorite
(440): View more from Ohio

You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(440): You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered http://tfl.nu/unl1

Replies (6) Good night (2658) Bad night (719)
Favorite
(812): View more from Indiana

Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.

(1-812): View more from Indiana

...the American dream.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(812): Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit. (1-812): ...the American dream. http://tfl.nu/qt7c

Replies (15) Good night (3159) Bad night (734)
Favorite
(803): View more from South Carolina

Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(803): Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement... http://tfl.nu/7rvh

Replies (13) Good night (1470) Bad night (855)
Favorite
(718): View more from New York

this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(718): this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican http://tfl.nu/utxh

Replies (27) Good night (549) Bad night (1485)
Favorite
(720): View more from Colorado

ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.

(1-720): View more from Colorado

Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.

(720): View more from Colorado

I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.

(720): View more from Colorado

I rest my case.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(720): ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO. (1-720): Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving. (720): I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW. (720): I rest my case. http://tfl.nu/ktzi

Replies (10) Good night (2134) Bad night (509)
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy. http://tfl.nu/urw4

Replies (4) Good night (573) Bad night (440)
Favorite
(613): View more from Ontario

You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(613): You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working http://tfl.nu/3fis

Replies (2) Good night (356) Bad night (545)
Favorite
(901): View more from Tennessee

How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(901): How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close http://tfl.nu/pa4w

Replies (7) Good night (554) Bad night (318)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: