Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.

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  (816): My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won. http://tfl.nu/68w0
  Replies (4) Good night (927) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.

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  (702): yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark. http://tfl.nu/ahfc
  Replies (12) Good night (2064) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.

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  (781): Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have. http://tfl.nu/ze45
  Replies (8) Good night (3331) Bad night (1113)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.

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  (203): thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number. http://tfl.nu/71o2
  Replies (28) Good night (1659) Bad night (4668)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.

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  (816): I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches. http://tfl.nu/de5z
  Replies (16) Good night (684) Bad night (3872)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.

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  (316): she thought the capital of kansas was topanga. http://tfl.nu/ge7r
  Replies (41) Good night (3758) Bad night (1580)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you

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  (810): Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you http://tfl.nu/vy0a
  Replies (21) Good night (5068) Bad night (1635)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.

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  (770): She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut. http://tfl.nu/onts
  Replies (29) Good night (5676) Bad night (1227)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.

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  (716): He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him. http://tfl.nu/aojd
  Replies (10) Good night (2512) Bad night (1064)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?

  (1-662): View more from Mississippi

  In some strange universe, yes

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  (662): So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores? (1-662): In some strange universe, yes http://tfl.nu/4gql
  Replies (7) Good night (1613) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  what type of emt are you

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  (860): i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off. (1-860): what type of emt are you http://tfl.nu/8o94
  Replies (4) Good night (1449) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire

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  (240): Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire http://tfl.nu/bhj4
  Replies (1) Good night (939) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm your Election Erection Connection

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.

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  (503): I'm your Election Erection Connection (860): I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had. http://tfl.nu/1sjz
  Replies (9) Good night (1553) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.

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  (864): I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide. http://tfl.nu/p1xg
  Replies (7) Good night (1004) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.

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  (251): I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka. http://tfl.nu/3ozc
  Replies (6) Good night (514) Bad night (213)

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