I'm jealous of your bromance
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on