My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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