Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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