i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
