She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
