Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize