Yo dont text me then not text me
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
