I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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