If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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