i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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