I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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