Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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