Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
